Harvey was almost two when I found out I was pregnant with Theo and one of my first worries was ‘what if Harvey feels pushed out now he isn’t going to be the only child in our lives anymore’
We told Harvey as soon as I had my 12 week scan that there was a baby in my tummy and that he was going to become a big brother but I don’t think he really understood. As I got further along in my pregnancy and as my bump grew bigger I would look at my first born and would feel so guilty. How would I split my time between the two of them? What if I loved one of them more? What if Harvey doesn’t like having the new baby around and feels pushed out?
Harvey was over the moon when we told him he was going to be having a little brother, so we bought him a boy doll with some outfits, nappies, and a bottle and every day we would spend a bit of time playing with the doll and each time I would explain that this is what it will be like when his baby brother arrives. I also bought a story book online called ‘The New Baby’ which we would read every few nights.
As my c section date got closer I took Harvey shopping so he could choose a present to give to his little brother and I also chose a present for him to have for when he first met Theo.
I asked my parents and grandparents to make a fuss of Harvey when the baby arrived so he didn’t feel left out. My parents looked after him whilst we went into hospital for my c section and our second baby boy was born. They came to see us later that evening and although Harvey was very quiet and seemed a bit unsure, I just knew they were going to be the best of friends.
When we got home the next day we made sure that we had lots of cuddles with Harvey and played with his toys and we didn’t make too much of a big deal about his baby brother being around. As the days passed Harvey started to get more interested and wanted to hold him. We would get him involved in helping with the new baby which really helped him to not feel left out. When Theo was sleeping we made sure we gave Harvey lots of attention and we made sure we stuck to his usual routine.
A year on and Harvey and Theo love each other so much, they play together, watch TV together, have baths together, however they do also fight a lot! We make sure that we have one on one time with both of our children and we give them equal amounts of love and attention. Harvey has taken on the role of big brother so well and I really think it is down to the fact we tried to treat him the same as before we had our second baby and because we got him involved with every aspect of looking after his baby brother.
I never knew I could love my second baby as much as my first but as soon as he was born my heart felt complete. I love them both so much and no matter how much you think you might not be able to love your second child as much as your first, that won’t be a problem once they arrive.
Thanks for reading!